8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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