I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize