smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
nutella sex= disaster
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
