This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
