So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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