JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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