Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I faked an abortion last night.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize