Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
