so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
