He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
