matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
