How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
