Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
