When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
