Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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