Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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