Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
