Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
