oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
