She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
