Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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