where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
