Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
