So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
