I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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