I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
