Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize