I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
