My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think a kid would responsible me up
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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