well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just blew my weed a kiss
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
