left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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