and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We talked him into tasing himself.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize