Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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