i think my tv is drunk
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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