im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
your room smells of hookers.
And success
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
