i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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