i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need water and some morals
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
