Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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