Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
