i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
