totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We left the knife in your bed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
