i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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