Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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