worst night to have a conscience
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
