He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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