I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
