paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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