You really coming over, don't trick.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
