i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
