Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
