So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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