Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize