they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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