I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
