She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
