If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
