She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
