Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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