R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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