Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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