he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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