God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
