If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
